The how to's and where for's...

The other day, my friend asked me, 'how can I be a big man like you?'
I says to maybles, or 'buddy' as is more accurater his sobriquet, I says, 'Well the first trick is to be a drawer. Not like the ones in your desk but a drawer with the doodles and pictures and the like.
Ya see, the womens find nothing more attractive than the humble drawer... and I know.'
I thinked I winked or something.
'And a mans bigness can only be measured by his allure; the calibre, frequency and velocity by which the fairer sex around, impart!'
To be sure this was no proper sentence but I had not prepared a response in advance, having not thought so much upon myself.
'But it'd take months to be awesome like you!', he says, 'I want my own 'Niche' now!'
This intrigued me, I hadn't considered others wanting to be me, to wear my skin and do sexy dances in front of the mirror.
'Perhaps I'll do a column in my blog, 'How to draw your own Niche', thought I, aloud.
And so, with these simple steps, you and buddy too, will be able to induldge your pathetic fantasies...